What is the best way for a married loner to meet new friends?

Words cannot describe how I feel right now. I moved here 4 1/2 years ago and when I say I have no friends to hang out with I am telling the truth. For some reason I just don't make friends easily. I have 9-10 really good friends but we all live in different places, and unfortunately none of them live here. I have been married for 3 1/2 years and it's just me and my husband. We don't always get along that great, but when we do I really enjoy it. However, I really want to meet some friends to hang out with outside of my home.





Last night I wanted to go somewhere so badly, but my husband didn't want to go with me. I wanted to go to a local club who has happy hour (food and drinks). I didn't want to go out without him so I just stayed in. Tonight I want to go do something but he doesn't want to go to that place either. It's a nice jazz restaurant/bar. He's never been there but doesn't want to try it for some reason. I am almost to the point to where I want to go without him.

What is the best way for a married loner to meet new friends?
This is shocking to me that you ask this same question I would like to ask. I don't like hanging out with my old friends anymore and I'm getting married in May. My fiance doesn't like going out either, just eating..I live in the bay area near San Francisco and there is lots to do here. I found myself shopping and having a drink by myself Tonight at PF Chang's. He works hard and is 19 years older than me, and I don't think things will change. I attend church as well and think that's a great start for me to be a better wife..If you find a good answer plz let me know..I would love to meet you if you are from around here or just chat. You just don't know how bored I am and I know how you feel...Peace and Happy New Year..I might try meet.com and keep praying for the both of us
Reply:go do what you like to do with out him and you will find friends that you have things in common with Report It

Reply:Then GO! If telling him how you feel isolated doesn't do anything but keep him on the couch... Then tell him you are going to get ready, %26amp; you'd really like for him to come with you! GO! with or without him... I'm sorry, but it isn't our job to do what the husband or guy wants to ALL the time!





2nd part... you complement their hair, jewlery, something to break the ice! You will be amazed at how many of us are also looking for a friend!!! GO!
Reply:i have the exact same problem with u.


i think just lose the fear of speaking to people. if they are weirdos, then forget them, you probaly wont' see them again.


im sure there are friendly people out there who don't mind speaking to and hanging out with a nice and married woman.


i sometimes go out to bars and order only one drink each night because i can't drink too much and i have to drive me home when my husband's out of town, and it feels fine. i don't even speak good english. if you are a nice person im sure you will find nice people who like you.
Reply:I have had to go out without my hubby. If he got angry he got over it, but I am most fortunate than other women because he really doesn't care as long as I am having fun. I can still relate though. I was with a man for 2.5 years and he never wanted to go do things so I began to go without him and have a great time. Eventually this became one of the reasons for his jealousy and later when I left his stalking. I would still goout without him even if you just meet a few females to go have drinks with occassionally. Girls need girls. It is a philosophy I live by. Yes, I am married, but I am happily married because I have girlfriends to vent to and hang out with and cut loose with. Eventually, these girls will invite you and your hubby over for bbq and get togethers. I have met people in the strangest of places if you needed any pointers on meeting people. I met people at the movies, bowling, bars, and even church. Church is a good place for starters but don not expect to kick back and have a few beers with these people. I think you should go and meet people. If he gets angry than it is for the best because you need other people besides him to fulfill your life. GOOD LUCK!!!
Reply:if you want to go out and have some fun, then go. i have gone to places by myself before. there is nothing wrong with treating yourself to a drink every now and then. not only that, but being out is really the only way that you are going to meet new people.
Reply:I do not know where you live , But I'm looking for friends.
Reply:Why not go out by your self. You may meet other woman at a Jazz b/r. Just be yourself. Start by saying hey my name is ******** and I was wondering if maybe sometime we could meet for lunch. Who knows you may hit it off and end up as friends.
Reply:There are different sites online where you can meet new friends. Most networking sites can get you going in the right direction.
Reply:If your a loner wife then you have to go loner do not be ashamed to hang out alone, you cant imagine how many peeps go out alone....Your sure to meet peeps in the places you want to go to...





Also try excercise classes and other activities...women are trying to keep themselves busy, so they would love to join you
Reply:Get a job. If you go to work, 1 of 2 things will happen. You might find a good friend there. Or you could be so tired that you will want to stay in the house with your husband. There's nothing wrong with going to clubs, but you could be fishing for trouble.
Reply:OK, so try a new church -maybe this one just isn't clicking. First, look for a denomination that would fit in with your personal spiritual beliefs - then call up the church's in that denomination that are closest to you and 'interview' them. Ask what kind of activities are frequently going on in the congregation - what kind of group or meetings do they have. Dinner circles or covenant groups are a great way to meet a small group of people and begin to explore mutual interests. Interested in politics - or at least don't mind the debating? Call up your local affiliated party's office and volunteer on a campaign. Join the YWCA and take a class that meets the same time each week - you'll start to notice the repeat customers and can strike up conversations.





If you're a natural introvert you'll have to force yourself to initiate conversations. But it's worth it! Sign up for an interesting class or workshop through your local community college - they're cheap and you'll meet folks with similar interests. Then it's easy to arrange to meet for coffee before class or go to a show after.





Best of luck!
Reply:Then go without him, i'm sure you'll make plenty new friends.
Reply:Co-workers are great for happy hours, and some make really good friends. Try joining a gym, take an arobics class with other women. As for the husband that never takes you out, well, if it continues, go out without him a few times, and maybe he'll get the hint.
Reply:Essentially if your husband does not want to go with you, and none of your friends live around you, you'll have to go alone and talk to the people there. Otherwise, it will always just be you and your husband.





So go out, have a good time and maybe your husband will see what a great time you had and want to go with you next time.
Reply:Do you belong to a church? Most churches have a women's bible study... a great place to meet friends and get involved in your neighborhood. You can volunteer or get a part time job in order to meet some new people. I know a lot of married people are in the same boat as you, congratulations on wanting to get out and do something about it (I'm much too shy). I wish we lived closer to each other! (I'm in Baltimore)





The secret to approaching people is to be interested in them. People love to talk about themselves, so ask them non-invasive questions and be interested in what they say. Show that you're listening by following up to their response (with another question). Being able to talk about themselves usually puts people at ease, enabling you to become someone they see as friendly and approachable in return. If you don't have children, I would avoid trying to get together with women who do have children and focus on meeting other married (not dating, not single) women who share similar interests.
Reply:your marriage is going to fizzle fast. Go have fun honey. With or without him. Life is too short
Reply:Well, if you make one friend, that will lead to other friends, as you'll have someone to go to social events with. Try the "strictly platonic" section of Craigslist to find a social buddy.